Hello Ladies && Gents,
Today, I have to say was a different sort of day for me…
I was given the charge of driving my Dad to the doctors this morning for a small operation he was having. Now I know what your thinking, “a small operation, thats not so bad!” Well in the grand scheme of things, no it wasn’t bad at all.
However, after a morning of talking about how my dad is getting up there in age, retiring and needed surgeries. The entire event made me realize that with out meaning to, or expecting it, i have become an adult.
Becoming an adult is something that everyone does. I just didn’t think it would spring on me. Here I am absorbed in my little world of post graduation nerves and looking out onto the horizon, not even realizing && how far I have come in life.
I think this fact has startled me some. I would have thought that by the time i turned 23 i would have done more…
( going off on little tangent here…)
There is an old saying i once herd that went; “When your going on through out your life, don’t forget your parents are getting old to.”
In many ways I have tried to remember this. Making sure I see both my parents enough and visit them as often as I can. However I think at times I get to concerned. I find that I am to afraid of loss, and I sometimes forget to live my own life. I know that this might sound silly. However coming from a divorced home I am deeply afraid of loosing either of my parents.
I don’t want to wake up one morning wishing I was closer to them, or had seen them more. I want to have many memories with them as I can.
On that same note however, I think this year I need to remember to not be so fearful no only of loss but also of change.
I need to learn to take a deep breath and say “it’s okay if i don’t see them for a bit or I can’t visit them this week.” I have a life to live to.
However, I think my being fearful of new or different things is something that effects me in all parts of my life. I often find myself worrying to much about other people && not enough about me…so i miss out on things.
So for this year, I think i will make a small resolution. && that is once a month I am going to try and do something that makes me nervous or scared. I am gong to try and go on more adventures, see more of the world and be a better me. I don’t want to look back years from now && say “I wish i would have done….” After all you only live once, and i think it’s time I remember that.
Tell me what some of your resolutions are in the comments! I would love to hear them.