Today I am writing you all, after a very sleepless evening. Baby Tristen, decided he wasn’t very keen on sleeping this past evening. & this morning I woke up with a sense of disappointment and self-doubt. I have had a few of these types of sleeplessness nights, however, I sometimes struggle. Why can’t I comfort him well enough for him to sleep? Am I doing something wrong? Is he cold? Is he too hot? Does he not like where I am laying him to sleep?
The first sleepless night I had like this, I am not going to lie, I cried myself to sleep thinking that I wasn’t meant to be a mom. But, why I am sharing this is because sometimes it’s very, very easy to doubt ourselves (regardless of being a new parent or simply living our lives). & I find that I need reminding, that sometimes it’s okay to only take a day at a time. It’s okay to be unsure. & it’s definitely okay to be overwhelmed.
Thus, this year I want to work on addressing doubt.
Since I am a new mom, there are lots of things I am finding that I am doubting myself on. For instance, I often worry about self-soothing techniques for infants, and if I am producing enough milk for the hungry little boy that blessed my life.
What has helped me with my feeling of doubt in the past few weeks is remembering that no one is perfect and no one has all the answers to life. The most wonderful thing about life is it’s a roller coaster. If we knew all the ups, downs and turns, it would make the ride rather dull.
Self-doubt I have realized has this sneaky way of finding its way into anything and everything. But, what I also have discovered is no matter what the situation or place you are in life, situations eventually work out. Now, you can let doubt work its ugly head in. Or you can take a deep breath and remember that sometimes babies just wanna be awake at 2am, things don’t always go as planned & sometimes you mess up, but there will always be another chance.
So even though during a few of my sleepless nights I wonder why on earth babies don’t come with a manual. I am happy that I get to experience my new life with Tristen, unscripted. So for all my readers who are having some self-doubt, remember you are strong and resourceful, and no matter what the situation. There is a way to work through it.
Victoria Byrd
Victoria 