If we were having coffee…

I would tell you I have been struggling….

I have never been very close with anyone. I keep things to myself. I don’t do this intensionally. I try to share what I’m doing, && what I’m thinking. However, it occurs to me that even with that, no one really knows me.

So what then, do I do when I am feeling unsure of myself?

I think sharing your inner most thoughts in general is uncomfortable. Growing up I was often told that I was “annoying” “weird” … “odd.”

So I just stopped sharing. Whats the point after all?

However….

I have always found online to be an escape. I have found a place where I have been able to express myself through videos, blog posts, tweets, photos ex…

Recently I have found it challenging to continue sharing this way…for more then one reason. Now I feel like I am forgetting who I am. What I like…whats important.

For some on reason, I have just been feeling so unsure, uneasy.

Like the boat I’ve been in is rocking, and treating to toss me into the ocean. I’m afraid. How cold is the water? How deep? Will I drown?

I’m unsure if my unease is based on any of this or just one thing…it’s difficult to pinpoint when you feel unsafe in your own self expression.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you I’m feeling uneasy with myself…but telling you all this…even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone but me….helps.